i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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