i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
