if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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