forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
