Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so explain again why im purple
no
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
