just come out here and I will go home with you...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
