thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
