i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
