I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Two words: blizzard sex
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
