Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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