he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
