So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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