lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It's shark week go big or go home
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
