Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize