I wish I only lived at night.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
