There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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