what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
