We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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