Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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