mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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