Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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