so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
