brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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