I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Randomize
