do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
