wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
