So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you will always have a special place in my vag
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
