Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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