Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i love accidental penises.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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