i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize