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Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
