I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
