It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
