Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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