He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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