Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just invented taco cereal.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
