I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
