...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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