FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
