I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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