I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
