Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Damn victory sex feels great
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
