i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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