i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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