yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
