If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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