my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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