sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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