No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
