dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sorry about my life...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
