omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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