I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I checked into jail on foursquare
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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