I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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