What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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