I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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