I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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