Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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