i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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