i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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