Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
